Respecting Myself: The Power of Putting Yourself First

For much of my life, my natural reaction to any situation was to put others first. Whether it was family, friends, coworkers, or employers, I would easily set my own priorities aside to help someone else. At first, this felt right, like a noble sacrifice, but over time, I began to realize the cost. I gave away my time, my energy, my talents, and my love, often beyond my capacity.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I wasted much of my time on others. While I’ve certainly gained a lot from being of service to people, I’ve also learned the hard way that putting myself first is essential. It has taken me a long time to come to this realization: If I don’t put myself first, no one else will respect that boundary. And when I consistently put others before myself, it becomes an unspoken expectation that I should continue to do so, at my own expense.

I've come to understand that self-respect is the foundation of how others will treat me. If I don’t take the time to honor my needs and boundaries, others won’t either. I learned that tolerating disrespect only invites people to use that as an advantage. The way I treat myself sets the standard for how others will treat me.

Through this journey, I've also learned a vital lesson about who deserves my time and energy. I no longer invest in people who aren’t genuinely interested in me or who don't love me for who I am. If someone's love and attention depend on what I can do for them, then they don't truly value me. These are the people who disappear the moment I’m no longer of service to them.

I now understand that people come into your life for three reasons: to teach you a lesson, to reflect a part of yourself, or to stay with you for a lifetime. I’ve become more intentional about who I allow into my life and how I categorize relationships. This has helped me protect myself from unnecessary hurt and disappointment.

In the end, it’s not anyone’s responsibility to respect my boundaries or to make me a priority—it’s mine. Respecting myself and putting myself first isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It sets the tone for every other relationship in my life.